Edo-period depiction of a kappa
Kappa are river dwelling creatures of Japanese folklore who have widely varying depictions and are featured in many stories from all over rural Japan. They are usually depicted as scaly or slimy mischievous green guys that live in the river, love cucumbers, and are prone to farting loudly, looking up women’s kimonos, and stealing swimming children. Now if you are lucky/unlucky enough to happen upon a kappa, remember that they have a water-filled indentation on the top of their head, which is the source of their power. Keep in mind also that kappa are known for always keeping promises and adhering to proper etiquette. So if you are facing off with a kappa, first try bowing as deeply as possible, because chances are, the kappa will return your bow with equivalent sincerity or more, potentially draining his head water and giving you a chance to book it. If that fails, and you happen to be fresh out of cucumbers, try to make him a deal or challenge him to a match of sumo (they love sumo), if you win, you’ll probably get something sweet out of the deal. (Word to the wise: Be wary of deals that involve free fish or rice for the rest of your life, because the kappa probably knows how long you have better than you do.)
Kappa have a long history of stealing children who swim in rivers, mainly because they know that all humans have two jewels embedded in their buttocks, which they just love to collect. It really all makes sense in light of this, kappa don’t drown kids out of hunger or spite, they just see an easy way to score some butt jewels.The bottom line is next time you’re thinking of going for a dip in one of Japan’s pristine rivers, maybe think about writing your name on a cucumber and throwing it in first to appease the kappa (I’m not making this up), or for lack of a better pun, just watch your ass.
This is a delightful children’s song about kappa:からすかずの子
にしんの子
おしりをねらって
かっぱの子
Child of crow
Child of herring
Kappa child
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